Ted Cruz (R-Texas) for President in 2016

[TacoXpo]

(Receptionist) Hello, Welcome to ObamaFlowers, My name is Trina. How can I help you?



(Customer) Hello, I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.



(Receptionist) Yes, I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of November. But I can help you.



(Customer) Thanks, I ordered a "Spring Bouquet" for our anniversary, and wanted it delivered to my wife's work..



(Receptionist Interrupting) Sir, "Spring Bouquets" do not meet our minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses.



(Customer) But I have always ordered "Spring Bouquets". Roses are too expensive for me and besides, my wife likes the Spring Bouquet.



(Receptionist) Roses are better, sir, I am sure your wife will love them.



(Customer) Well, how much are they?



(Receptionist) It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package.



(Customer) What's the difference?



(Receptionist) 6, 12,18 or 24 Red Roses.



(Customer) The Silver package may be okay, how much is it?



(Receptionist) It depends sir, what is your monthly income?



(Customer) What does that have to do with anything?



(Receptionist) I need that to determine your government flower subsidy, then I can determine how much your out of pocket cost will be. But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our FlowerAid department.



(Customer) FlowerAid?



(Receptionist) Yes, Flowers are a Right, everyone has a right to flowers. So, if you can't afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge.



(Customer) Who said they were a Right?



(Receptionist) Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it Constitutional.



(Customer) Whoa.....I don't remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding Flowers as a Right.



(Receptionist) It is not really a Right in the Constitution, but ObamaFlowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court Ruled it a "Tax". Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a Right.



(Customer) I don't believe this....



(Receptionist) It's the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is your monthly income sir?



(Customer) Forget it, I think I will forego the flowers this year...



(Receptionist) In that case sir, I will still need your monthly income.



(Customer) Why?



(Receptionist) To determine what your 'non-participation' cost would be.



(Customer) WHAT???? You can't charge me for NOT buying flowers!!!



(Receptionist) It's the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It's $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income.....



(Customer)interrupting) This is ridiculous, I'll pay the $9.50..



(Receptionist) Sir, it is the $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.



(Customer) ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? What a ripoff!!



(Receptionist) Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.



(Customer) Look, I'm going to call my Congress member to find out what's going on here. This is ridiculous. I'm not going to pay it.



(Receptionist) Sorry to hear that sir, that's why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone you are using.



(Customer) Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING????



(Receptionist) So they get your GPS coordinates sir



(Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door)



(Receptionist) That would be the IRS sir. Thanks for calling ObamaFlowers, have a nice day...and God Bless America .

 

[TacoXpo]

Hey! I didn't start this thread!

I don't normally like to post stuff like this but I just wish we could be honest about what 'communities' contribute to the gun 'problems.'

 

[Silverback]

Thats it.. outlaw Assault Negros!

 

[Silverback]

On the plus side, it appears the African American community is doing better.. up a couple points in all aspects. I attribute this to more illegals coming across the border.

 

[drew02a]

I heard that black rifles were bad, but not black rifle owners...

 

[Silverback]

Its a black thing.. I'm going to paint all my weapons white. ... or tan. Or green.

 

[Anathollo]

Its a black thing.. I'm going to paint all my weapons white. ... or tan. Or green.

What weapons? You mean the ones you lost right?

The NSA is watching Shhhhh

 

[TacoXpo]

What weapons? You mean the ones you lost right?

The NSA is watching Shhhhh

Maybe it needs to be in the Home Improvement thread so that it will comply with the en essay.


He's talking about the ones that act as insulation under his floor boards, walls and in his attic.

 

[tex]

One of the companies that provides phone support for "obama flowers" is in my building. The ghetto slum that works there is unbelievable. I would never give any personal info to any of those people.

 

[Anathollo]

Maybe it needs to be in the Home Improvement thread so that it will comply with the en essay.


He's talking about the ones that act as insulation under his floor boards, walls and in his attic.

 

[TacoXpo]

...

Anagrams

This is one of the cleverest E-mails I've received in a while. Someone out there Must be "deadly" at Scrabble. Wait till you see the last one! PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: I'M A DOT IN PLACE THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER AND FINALLY…. FOR THE GRAND FINALE: *PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA When you rearrange the letters: "An Arab Backed Imposter” Bet your friends haven't seen this one!

 

[TacoXpo]

[video=youtube;uOk0vOup4yA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOk0vOup4yA[/video]

 

[Silverback]

Thats awesome!! My wife deals with HIPA all the time... I think its great that someone is being called out on the carpet due to it.

 

[tx_shooter]

x2 HIPAA is a huge problem for a lot of hospitals; to see the government pull this crap is a complete slap in the face of the people they fine hundreds of thousands of dollars for the same violations.



But this should not surprise me.

 

[Silverback]

yeah, she's embarrassed for sure (or she should be) I'm sure once she left the stand she was never fined for it. More like. "It's ok, our Dear Leader would like to thank you for your service... would you like a cabinet position?".

 

[TacoXpo]

yeah, she's embarrassed for sure (or she should be) I'm sure once she left the stand she was never fined for it. More like. "It's ok, our Dear Leader would like to thank you for your service... would you like a cabinet position?".

So sad but so true.

 

[TacoXpo]

A GORILLA IN THE ROOM? Recap of our comsymp prexy
by Wayne Allyn Root

(Las Vegas Review-Journal, April, 3 2013)

Barack Hussein Obama is no fool. He is not incompetent. On the contrary, he is brilliant. He knows exactly what he's doing. He is purposely overwhelming the U.S. economy to create systemic failure, economic crisis and social chaos thereby destroying capitalism and our country from within. Barack Hussein Obama was my college classmate ( Columbia University , class of '83).

He is a devout Muslim; do not be fooled. Look at his czars... Anti-business anti-American. As Glenn Beck correctly predicted from day one, Barack Hussein Obama is following the plan of Cloward & Piven, two professors at Columbia University . They outlined a plan to socialize America by overwhelming the system with government spending and entitlement demands.

Add up the clues below. Taken individually, they're alarming. Taken as a whole, it is a brilliant, Machiavellian game plan to turn the United States into a Socialist/Marxist state with a permanent majority that desperately needs government for survival. And can be counted on to always vote for even bigger government. Why not? They have no responsibility to pay for it.

Universal Health Care:
The Health Care bill has very little to do with healthcare. It has everything to do with unionizing millions of hospital and healthcare workers as well as adding 15,000 to 20,000 new IRS agents (who will join government employee unions). Obama doesn't care that giving free healthcare to 30 million Americans will add trillions to the national debt. What he does care about is that it cements the dependence of those 30 million voters to Democrats and big government. Who but a socialist revolutionary would pass this reckless spending bill in the middle of a depression?

Cap and Trade:
Like healthcare legislation having nothing to do with healthcare, Cap and Trade has nothing to do with global warming. It has everything to do with redistribution of income, government control of the economy, and a criminal payoff to Obama's biggest contributors. Those powerful and wealthy unions and contributors (like GE, which owns NBC, MSNBC and CNBC) can then be counted on to support everything Obama wants. They will kick-back hundreds of millions of dollars in contributions to Obama and the Democratic Party to keep them in power. The bonus is that all the new taxes on Americans with bigger cars, bigger homes and businesses helps Obama spread the wealth around.

Making Puerto Rico a state:
Who's asking for a 51st state? Who's asking for millions of new welfare recipients and government entitlement addicts in the middle of a depression? Certainly not American taxpayers! But this has been Barack Hussein Obama's plan all along. His goal is to add two new Democrat senators, five Democrat congressmen and a million loyal Democratic voters who are dependent on big government.

(This will tip the balance of those living off the government to more than those who must pay for it; and we're done for.)

Legalize 12 million illegal Mexican immigrants:
Just giving these 12 million potential new citizens free healthcare alone could overwhelm the system and bankrupt America . But it adds 12 million reliable new Democrat voters who can be counted on to support big government. Add another few trillion dollars in welfare, aid to dependent children, food stamps, free medical, education, tax credits for the poor, and eventually Social Security. (see note above re: Puerto Rico )

Stimulus and bailouts
Where did all that money go? It went to Democrat contributors, organizations (ACORN), and unions -- including billions of dollars to save or create jobs of government employees across the country. It went to save GM and Chrysler so that their employees could keep paying union dues. It went to AIG so that Goldman Sachs could be bailed out (after giving Obama almost $1 million in contributions). A staggering $125 billion went to teachers (thereby protecting their union dues).

All those public employees will vote loyally Democrat to protect their bloated salaries and pensions that are bankrupting America . The country goes broke, future generations face a bleak future, but Obama, the Democrat Party, government, and the unions grow more powerful.

The ends justify the means. Raise taxes on small business owners, high-income earners, and job creators. Put the entire burden on only the top 20 percent of taxpayers, redistribute the income, punish success, and reward those who did nothing to deserve it (except vote for Obama).

Reagan wanted to dramatically cut taxes in order to starve the government. Barack Obama wants to dramatically raise taxes to starve his political opposition. With the acts outlined above, Barack Hussein Obama and his regime have created a vast and rapidly expanding constituency of voters dependent on big government; a vast privileged class of public employees who work for big government; and a government dedicated to destroying capitalism and installing themselves as socialist rulers by overwhelming the system.

Add it up and you've got the perfect Marxist scheme all devised by my Columbia University college classmate Barack Hussein Obama using the Cloward-Piven Strategy.

Last point: think about what this designed rule of the rabble will do to anyone successful and everyone receiving this is. What will your lives be like under Communism? The time to fight this abomination is now.

I hope each of you will share this with your friends.

 

[Mauzer]

CBO:Top 40% Income Households Paid 106.2% of Income Taxes
Bottom 40% Income Households Paid -9.1% and got an average of $18,950 in 'Transfers'
http://www.cbo.gov/sites/default/files/cbofiles/attachments/44604-AverageTaxRates.pdf

I realize I'm part of the bottom 40% but I think this culture of EAT THE RICH doesn't realize that they are the ones that pay to keep this country running, And our President wants to increase their tax burden. There is not incentive to excel in this country when success just means you pay more taxes for those to lazy to work hard.

 

[TacoXpo]

This reminds me of [FONT=arial, sans-serif]Viktor Emil Frankl (Holicost Survivor). His philosophy while in [/FONT]Auschwitz concentration camp, he took on the belief that the Prison guards were the prisoners and that he was the free one - free to believe what he wanted. That's how he survived. We just need to know how we will survive when this country fails to be what we want it to be. I call it being 'selectively delusional.'

 

[TacoXpo]

[video=youtube;UJiQkKoIeFw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJiQkKoIeFw[/video]

Although some of it is a bit scary... I had to laugh at most of it!